Peter:
[0:00] Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Inner Power Podcast, and I tell you what, I have an absolute special guest joining me in the studio today that is going to absolutely blow your minds and your energy because she is going to supply
Peter:
[0:22] some serious inner power thoughts and thinking for you. So without further ado, I want to introduce you a beautiful lady in the soul
Peter:
[0:34] that I've had the privilege of connecting up in person multiple times now, the beautiful Dr. Christine Lee. Christine, welcome.
Christine:
[0:44] Hi, Peter. Thank you so much for that lovely and beautiful and warm and complimentary, complimenting kind of introduction. I really appreciate that. And I am so lucky that you have been the brave soul to cross the world to come and join me at different conferences that we've been at. And it has been so much fun to know you, to be friends with you, to be going through this journey of online business and working and thinking things through together. It's been so much fun. And I'm so grateful that I get to speak to your audience today. Thank you.
Peter:
[1:21] No, it's so amazing. And I think with the connection that we have and how we've met, it's such a beautiful reminder of, you know, despite where we come from, our own personal journeys, there's always some common links and some common ground that we can find and we can meet in. And for those who don't know, it's so funny, just giving you a little personal insight here, that one of my featured and most favorite liked reels on social media was me running across the beach, almost like Baywatch. And I can accredit that reel to Christine.
Peter:
[2:01] She's like, Peter, you need to do this. I'm going to film this for you. I'm like, are you serious? Yeah, you've got to do it. So, this is me like, it's a beautiful thing and that kind of leads into what we're going to be talking today about is because today's episode with Christine is the three tips to get you going. Christine, you want to quickly run us through what those three topics are going to be. Okay.
Christine:
[2:26] I will do that, but I cannot let that story go because I did not know that that was a popular reel for you. I have to go find it now. And I remember that moment because you were so hilarious. I mean, that's certainly a big part of who you are, but that moment was just so fun. But you make me think of another teaching point, even though we're just getting going here is that when we collaborate, our energies get magnified, right? We might be a fun, fun-loving, creative soul on our own, but then think about doing that with somebody else's fun, creative, open energy as well. And you can only just make things bigger, better, more fun, more vibrant. And that's what happened on the
Christine:
[3:13] beach that day. So glad to know that that happened. And it was so cute. It was so great. All right. So three tips for how to get moving. Peter and I just quickly had a pre-conversation just to get us ready. And I told him my first one is always fun. And I say that first always, because typically when people come to see me, work with me, consult with me, whatever, ever, I'm always kind of looking for the way out of the stress with them and honoring.
Christine:
[3:49] Yeah. And so, and generally people are so stressed that they've forgotten the fun. They've left the fun behind. They've closed all doors to fun and sometimes even eating or sleeping well or socializing. And I want to open those doors right back with them. And so the first assignment, If I even do that is to really just clue them in on, you know, we need some more of that energy in you. Right. And it's not work energy. It's fun energy. It's like life energy. Right. And I know you know what I mean. Okay. So number two is that I always want to see how the person's thinking about their situation. Because I know from many years of working with clients individually and in groups that it's never about the person's brain. It's never about their intelligence or their ability to think. It's about how they're thinking and what is the content of their thoughts. And typically, when people are stressed out, our thinking goes a little off the path of clarity just a bit and just enough to bring the nervous system into dysregulation where you're feeling that you're in danger somehow. And then that.
Christine:
[5:05] In turn, also just ruins the clarity of your thinking that much more. So we want to get out of that pattern. And we want to check what kind of story am I telling myself about this particular thing that is making me feel like I can't go anywhere, I need to stay stuck, stay safe, stay immobilized.
Christine:
[5:26] And we want to challenge that because guess what, every thought that comes through our brain and our system can be challenged. We are perfectly wired and perfectly capable of doing that. Even if we don't believe the thoughts that are coming in on the other side to argue with our original thought, we can generate that, right? That's just a skill that we all have. And if we haven't been using that skill, we need to practice that. So check your stories about yourself, check that the stories that you're telling yourself are supporting you in this process of trying to move, of trying to change things up, of trying to grow, instead of telling stories that are terrifying and really scary and really heavy. Because that's not the energy that we like to travel with, right? If you're packing your bags to go on vacation, You might be stressed out about the packing, but you know you're headed towards lighter, freer times and energy.
Christine:
[6:31] So let's start with that energy while we're packing and let every thought that
Christine:
[6:37] comes through your mind and body be a supportive, loving, fun one, if we can. The third tip that I have is, I wrote down in my notes, have the no standards action. And by that, I mean, generally, if you are overthinking something, if you've been stuck for a really long time, chances are you've been thinking too much and you haven't been taking any action at all.
Christine:
[7:04] And even the smallest movement to break that thinking pattern and that stuckness will change your energy. And that may be all you need. That is always the beginning of something different. You become different when your energy changes. It's okay to leave your safety zone for five minutes, right? And we don't have to work for five hours. Sometimes people make the mistake of saying, well, I got to sacrifice the whole day. Oh, I'm dreading that. And then it's this cascade of negativity when really you really just need kind of 15 minutes to change the whole landscape of things.
Peter:
[7:41] Wow. And to me, like, these are going to be three important tips and we're going
Peter:
[7:44] to really drill down on some of these in a moment. But of course, even this, because we got a little bit distracted there with the whole, like, it led into it, like, have some fun. And I know even for myself personally, I have fallen victim to every single one of those that you have listed. You know, as much as I'm in the world of energy, in the world of helping people, but people also tend to forget, even for both of us, there's still a business element that we have to take care of. And sometimes that can really just, we get into our heads very quickly. And because of that, we lose the fun, you know, the thinking, the stories and what we're doing. And obviously, certain standards with the pressures. So, it's totally relatable and I'm really looking forward to delving into that.
Peter:
[8:31] And like I said, I've had the privilege of meeting you on my journey. But just for our listeners, because, you know, obviously this might be new for them, can you give us a quick, like, background of your journey, who you are and why you got here? Because the best thing I can tell for most people is when I met Christine, I've had the privilege of being on her podcast. And it was just like, I was like, oh, my God, this woman is a machine. Jean, look at the amount of episodes you have published on your podcast. I was like, oh, like, wow. So the wealth of knowledge and experience there. But just for our listeners, would you care to just give them that background story of where you've come from and what's led you here?
Christine:
[9:11] Well, thank you for that second compliment. I would say, first, I can let you know that I love podcasting. I think this is such a wonderful medium and communication channel and creativity universe because there are no rules here. And we get to meet really fun, interesting people who are also into this. And miraculously, I have not missed a week since I started about four years ago. go. And I'm really last week, I really almost did miss the delivery of it. But, but, you know, it's been such a joy that and in particular, interviewing people and getting to know people, which I love to do in general. So it's been pretty good. And just to describe a little bit more about who I am and what I like to do. You've already gotten a sense I really like to help people to emerge from stuck points and we can get stuck in so many different ways right it's not just academic it's not just work it can be things like self basic self-care it can be fixing relationships it can be up leveling.
Christine:
[10:31] Even the smallest things, right? Allowing yourself to see yourself as being worthy for the thing that you really think is attractive to you, the person, the place, the thing. And I'm all about doing this work with my clients, but the gratifying and fortunate thing is that I get to work on myself in the process. And as you mentioned a couple of minutes ago, We're also in this online business or business space. And that also requires some really intense knowledge and experimentation with who we are so that we can be more effective, so that we can have as much impact as we're looking for and forward to. And it's all a process. There are ups and there are certainly downs. Oh, yeah.
Christine:
[11:50] And morphed into something else. It's okay, right? And so- part of having fun is not taking so much so seriously. And that lightens the mood right away. And sometimes when we feel lighter, we do better. So that's what I do. I'm a psychologist in New York. Also, I've been a psychologist for about 25 years. And the really large majority of that time, I've considered myself an expert on the topic of procrastination. So I call myself procrastination coach. And I come by that name really honestly, because I am also a master at procrastinating and was a major procrastinator for the first half of my life, first three quarters of my life. And then life happened and my own brain kind of really kicked in and said, you know, This is going to cause even more stress than you can think of if you continue on this journey. So I decided to put some steps together, to declutter some stuff, to seek some...
Christine:
[13:00] I was just kind of on a knowledge search for what to do about this stuff. And as you know, Peter, once you make a decision, things start to change around you because you start seeing more. And I have learned and have been very blessed to be so fortunate in this fortunate land that we live in, both of us, right? Different lands, but fortunate and bountiful and abundant lands of opportunity to...
Christine:
[13:33] Be self-expressed to make mistakes and still be able to come back. Right. And to learn through things like psychotherapy, business coaching, podcasting, everything's now this learning platform for me and through me, my clients. So that's a long way of describing who I am, but thanks again, Peter. I'm a big fan of Peter.
Peter:
[14:00] But it's a, it's a great, like, I mean, But I love the honesty there in the fact of like you're the procrastination coach, like people say, like you help people get unstuck. But to say that the first half of your life, you know, you're saying, you know, you had your masters in procrastination yourself. And, you know, I know that I do that myself. And I even remember when you were interviewing me for the podcast, just talking and understanding what procrastination was, was a really powerful topic and a great discussion topic, which I guarantee we'll probably end up having another episode just delving into that for my listeners as well, because it's great. But having a look at where we are, because with all this experience, where you're coming from, it's interesting. And we did. We had that little brief there. You said, number one is fun. It's obviously so vital it's so important i know for myself even like i said because obviously for the last you know probably 18 months business has been like you know it's you've got to move with it you've got to understand it you've got to start shifting with it and of course it can be very quickly go from like heart space to head space and you lose the fun and i that's something that i've become very aware of like i've got to come back to having the fun you know it's nice because I connect that with people like yourself when I do it. We go to the beach, we have some fun, we magnify that, and it's a great reminder.
Peter:
[15:25] So, for yourself, and if you're like, we're walking through this because anybody listening to this is going, you know, they're probably putting their hand up going, oh my God, I need to listen to this. I'm a procrastinator, Christine. Oh my goodness, help me. I cannot wait. What do we do here? So, if fun's the first step, how do you recommend? Because I know, like, and I've experienced, and I've had clients that, and I imagine you as well, they're in it. They're in that, and it's stuck. It can be very hard when you're stuck, you're down, you're heavy, and we're here saying, have some fun. And they're like, are you kidding me? Yeah. So, in terms of tips and getting the people moving and going with this and with fun, how would you say to do that? How do we start that process?
Christine:
[16:16] Great question. And I have never been asked that.
Christine:
[16:19] I just assume that people, I think you're making me see my own beliefs about this. I do believe that everyone wants to have fun deep down inside, that I don't think people, you know, wake up in the morning saying, I want to be a stress case, that there's a basic desire. I love that.
Peter:
[16:40] Can you imagine waking up going, today is going to be the most stressful day. I'm looking forward to it.
Christine:
[16:44] Yes, this is exactly how I planned it, right? And I do think, that stress is prevalent because it builds, that it's day after day and in small, maybe non-noticeable ways. But if you don't address it, release it, observe it, work with it, balance it, then it just takes this upward trend and slope upwards. And I was taught in graduate school, in training, that anxiety likes to take up real estate. So the more you allow it to...
Christine:
[17:26] Grow without paying attention to it or minding it or fixing it or healing it, it will take up everything. And that's why people end up maybe not leaving their homes, maybe developing phobias of things. And I just thought that was such a really lovely way of teaching someone about how anxiety works. And I've always been mindful of that since. And I had one wonderful supervisor, his name is Ken Gorfinkel, if he magically happens to be listening to this. He said he had children and he said that the one thing that he really felt was central to his mode of parenting was to teach his children not to be anxious, not to worry.
Christine:
[18:15] I mean, not that we can ever completely eradicate that, but that really stuck with me because he was a pro at being a psychologist, teaching people how to behaviorally recover from phobias. And so I'm learning from a master and he's just saying, you know, the simple guideline that I have for myself as a parent is I'm going to help my kids learn how not to be anxious. And I just thought, lovely, makes a lot of sense. I'm going to apply that to my own life from here on out. And that was a piece of my journey that bit on the corner with him as we were talking and walking across the street soon in New York City will always stick with me because that wisdom you don't want to ignore. Yeah.
Peter:
[19:00] Those moments are great. It's amazing when people think like those moments are going to be really super profound, but those profound moments happen in the most everyday circumstances. Circumstances and i love the way i can almost visualize you in new york and i like waiting at the cross and waiting waiting for the red light and you just kind of maybe have a coffee or something in your hand you've just gone to get something to eat in between things and all of a sudden you've just gone you heard this beautiful piece of like advice and wisdom and you're going that's, profound in its own way i'm gonna i think i've got to take that on i love that i love stories i have a lot of street corner moments absolutely yeah those are really good, it's like i might have a different i say but i hope it's all gonna be on that wonderful mental wisdom side so but i love that it's kind.
Christine:
[19:52] Of it's also kind of what you do with the the things that you observe right some things really are you know ignorable and should be ignored. We can't hang on to everything. That's also a teaching thing too, by the way, the people who really want to encompass everything. And there are many people of that style and that can be used for really wonderful things like project planning and accounting and lots of different careers are, you would be well suited for that. But when it comes to kind of life processing and kind of reducing your anxiety, oftentimes going for the full bucket of options is just really overwhelming to our system and our ego and our schedule, you know, because it takes up real actual time and real actual energy and willpower. And so I'm really a big fan of good enough time limits, energy limits, and knowing that I have, you know, as a human being, I find myself to be a little on the lower energy side. I'm always happy generally, but my physical energy is not, the most I've seen of people. And so, I just need to be aware of that, right? So, that means I might not do the marathon kind of approach. I might do the sprint approach and do the- I love that.
Peter:
[21:19] I love that you mentioned marathon. Sorry to interrupt you there because it is, it's a huge thing. Is it just a huge thing at the moment? Because like everybody says, you should really try and run a marathon, like a marathon as if it should be the pinnacle of physical and mental health to run a marathon and i'm there going that's just so not me like, i'm like but the weirdest part is i still think about should i train or should i have a go at a marathon but then i'll let it have its moment and then i'll be like nah that's not me nah like why why do i really want to train for that distance just to say i did it you know so but it's just into you, it's a marathon. It seems to be a thing at the moment. I'm like, it's just a big pinnacle for a lot of people to push themselves out and focus on. It's like, if you can run a marathon, you'll get better or something like that.
Christine:
[22:13] You're making me think about a lot of different marathoning stories. I'm certainly not a marathoner. I just told you I'm relatively low energy. But I have had, one story is of a very close and dear friend who I didn't know was, athletic herself her kids are very athletic and then I see on social media she's done, like a 5k and I just didn't even know she was a runner at all and she kind of I think won her category but she hadn't been really rehearsing she hadn't been training so so that's one story but the other thing that you make me think of is that the people who haven't been marathoners who kind of suddenly decide that they want to. My sense is that it really is this kind of magical transformation that can happen in a relatively short amount of time. That may be just a story that I'm completely making up, but because I'm not seeing the behind the scenes and I know there's kind of regimented pathways of getting there.
Peter:
[23:19] Social media is like, I'm training. I'm done this. Oh, look, I participated, but you don't see any of it. Yeah.
Christine:
[23:27] But it is a great metaphor for how dramatic a transformation can be. And that your regular, not so active person can make that much progress because of a decision, because there's this option, because maybe there's social media and they're seeing other people doing it. They're kind of wanting that kind of new energy. And I think that really is stuff that we can understand, even if we never do a marathon. And I promise you, I will never do a marathon.
Peter:
[23:59] Look, I'm on that boat. I'm, you know, I'm happy to stand on the sidelines, wave and go, congratulations. But you know what? Personally, I don't think I'd even do that because I'd get bored waiting for them to arrive at the finish line. Let's just be honest. I'm like, I'd rather be having some fun, doing a podcast, talking to people, getting some knowledge and having a laugh. That's just, that's the way.
Christine:
[24:24] Yeah. You know what? But I might drag out teaching moment from what you just said, because a couple of hours later. Ago was doing a podcast of my own, a solo podcast episode. And I think the part of what I'm thinking lately is the importance of really knowing yourself, right? If I say I'm low energy, I'm saying that as like a fact of me and it can be improved perhaps, but I know to work with that rather than kind of railing about why wasn't I given just this magnificent marathoners skill, because that would take away from the energy that I do have, right? The abundant energy that I can use day to day. And I really like to think in those terms, right? That there's a certain set of wonderful things that all of us brings. And when we stress our system out so much day to day, we're really not capturing all of our skills, all of our talents, all of our full energy, that marathon level energy that we do have, even though we're not running actual marathons. We have excellence. We have striving. We have drive.
Christine:
[25:48] We have uniqueness, right? And how these things are woven together within us.
Christine:
[25:55] And I just love that as a concept. And I love to help people explore what they're made of over time. And that's why my background is traditional psychotherapy. And you spend a lot of years with people really getting to know them, like moment to moment. And then year after year kind of knowledge of a person. It's such a gift to have that window into a person. And I've been given that gift in that I spent so many years with a particular therapist myself.
Christine:
[26:26] And so for our listeners, if you haven't been in therapy and you're thinking about it, it really is kind of a privilege and a gift to be able to take the time and observe your whole life at all the different layers with someone who is knowledgeable about you from a distance and can observe you from that distance. It's a real treat actually. And it can be kind of a pain in the butt sometimes too, but you know, in the end it's a huge gift.
Peter:
[27:00] Growth, isn't it? I think it's, you know, the pain has to happen there because Because like that's a release and it makes you stronger. It's like, you know, I always say any level of pain is like going to the gym. You don't build muscle unless you damage or stretch the muscle to its capacity. When the body then goes, oh, okay, we've got to be a little bit stronger now if we can build up to this. And I think that's the same thing as I personally believe some people miss that on an emotional level.
Peter:
[27:29] You know, it's also a muscle. Now, it's interesting you talk about like that, you know, we've got transformations and whatever else, and sometimes this can be overwhelming. And coming back to helping someone getting, like, into that fun,
Peter:
[27:41] and sometimes it can be like, okay, how do we, what would you suggest here? I know it can be a little bit subjective, but just in general, like, because I used, would it be, you know, you see people going, know yourself and start with something that's more comfortable for you in the fun department to get going again. Or would it be like you know what let's do the merit let's do something transformative or let's do something big you know which which way would we go here or is this i know it's a bit subjective but i just want to explore this because it's like i can i i think i've been through that i know sometimes i'm like you know what because i'm i i do pride myself because i'm like yourself i'm aware of who i am like you like you saying you you're aware that you're a low energy but that's not a bad thing. It's just part of who you are. And once you accept that, you can work with that and your life gets so much better and smoother for it rather than trying to fight against it because, you know, you're not trying to convince yourself that you need to be someone else in order to fit in or whatever.
Peter:
[28:42] So, I'm very well over that as well. Like, sometimes I'm like, you know what, it's just going to be walking. And then other times I'm like, you know what, I'm ready for something bigger or I'm ready for something a little bit more. But, you know, I'm looking at from a perspective of someone's feeling a bit stuck, which way would you kind of lean them or kind of suggest for them in
Peter:
[29:01] this space of getting that fun back into their life?
Christine:
[29:04] Yeah, I guess I don't look at it in terms of the size of the action as much as I look at it as what's going to be, simple, maybe elegant way to release the stress feeling. So that could be like sketching on a piece of paper or opening a window or, you know, like a literal window and changing your view. And it could be seriously the stupidest, silliest, simplest thing.
Peter:
[29:36] Running along the beach while someone's filming you.
Christine:
[29:37] Like running across the beach exactly on film right filming b-roll for social media yes yes oh we had so many laughs that that afternoon it was it was great and we got to see the beach because we were looking for different frames and we were showing each other there was our friend christina was with us so it was like a threesome of just nutheads running on the beach And I do think I saw more of the beach and more of the views and we kind of spent a little bit of time there than I ever would have done by myself or without that kind of fun task of getting this B roll. Right. So, yeah. Yeah. So I would say, you know, release the stress. That's the goal. Right. And that to teach yourself that I can do this on command. This really isn't a necessity of being productive or being in motion that when I move, I don't have to have this companion of stress. And that has been maybe one of the best, the best lessons I've been able to absorb for myself because I used to be a walking representation of stress. And people might not have known that from the outside, but inside, if you got a view of my inside, it would be absolutely amazing. All you would have seen. So, I'm so glad those days are over. Yeah.
Peter:
[31:05] Well, that's a beautiful way of looking at it. So, it's not so much about the level of action, it's just more about moving that energy and what feels good to release that. I think that is an absolute profound way because, you know, even in that moment, I've just gone boom. It's like that was a mic drop moment for me because it's just viewing that and seeing that in a different way because again, it's see how easy it is to kind of like, you know, fun or we need to do something or rather is like, you know, you're saying here, it's like, no, this is just a way of being. It's just a transfer of energy. Make it relaxing. Make it anti-stress. It's not about actually needing to do something. Don't make it a task. Don't link it to I've got to feel productive. It's more about that state of being. So, I absolutely love that. So, but on that note, like I love this and obviously talking with Christine, we're going to get deeper into this, but that's where we are with this episode and hang in there because the next episode, we're going to be jumping in to those final two tips of getting you going with Dr. Christine Lee. So stay tuned for the next episode. We're going to have a whole lot. There's probably more stories to come. There's more laughs to come, but some wonderful insights and tips coming as well. So thank you for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.
