Peter:
[0:00] Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another special episode of the Inner Power Podcast, because today we're being joined by a beautiful, beautiful soul by the name of Elena Sparrow, who is a Reiki master, animal communicator, and animal lover, because it's always about the animals, which I love, because they sometimes even joined us, if I remember correctly, for our previous quick chat, which is lovely, but it is so lovely to have you on here and because we are going to delve into a very personal, but yet very important part of our spiritual journey.
Peter:
[0:46] And this was, as we were talking before in our previous chat, we're like, no, this is it. And And it's all about the spiritual closet. Now, for those who are on their journey and if you're listening to this pod, I guarantee you are in some shape or form. But the whole thing is when we start talking about the spiritual closet, this is something that does come up but is very rarely talked about in our circles. And this is that space of where you know at some point in your life it can be at any point at any age where you just have to embrace the spiritual side of yourself i know i have been through this myself and as soon as we started talking about alana and i were just like oh this is it and like this is going to be so powerful and so helpful so welcome alana and thank you so much for being here. And I know it was a bit of a getting you on here to get this recorded, but we're here, we're doing it. So welcome, welcome, welcome to the pod.
Ilana:
[1:50] Thank you so much, Peter. I so appreciate being here and being with you and being in your energy and with your listeners. So I'm excited.
Peter:
[1:59] It's lovely. I know. And I appreciate you taking the time because at the time of recording this, it's 8 p.m., I believe, or around that time in California, US as we're doing it. So it's at the end of your day and in the evening. So, sometimes it can be a little bit tricky to keep the energy up, but I know that the energy's here. We're going to roll with it.
Peter:
[2:17] But now jumping into this, we're talking about the spiritual closet. Now, for those who obviously are not familiar with you, like, you know, there is a quick background of you were quite intuitive and insightful as a child and but then it was the case of you just kind of dismissed it or you know kept it dormant or ignored it is that right?
Ilana:
[2:43] Well, it was even worse than that.
Peter:
[2:45] Oh, here we go. Right, people, strap yourselves in. Here we go.
Ilana:
[2:50] I would say that I was definitely, I was lucky I was born with these gifts, but it was definitely a problem in my household. My parents were not open to it, and they kind of actively dismissed it, almost, you know, in a way to invalidate. And I won't say that it was intentional. It was not intentional. But when you're a little kid and these things come naturally to you, and by the way, they do come naturally to children. They do, to animals too. But we're all born this way and then it's kind of taken out of us as we age, right? And so because of that, with my growing up, like it was always there. And thank God it really was there for most of my life, but I didn't understand what I had. I didn't think of it as gifts. Yes, I didn't think of it as different.
Peter:
[3:44] Well, it's not, is it? As a kid, it just is. And, you know, you're just being and then using those parts itself very naturally. But I just want to quickly clarify, you're saying like they were, you know, your parents, you know, and that happens because sometimes our parents don't know the journey all this. They didn't have the, you know, weren't exposed to it during their, you know, time. But you're saying that they were kind of like purposefully and not, you're saying not intentionally, but they were actually trying to push this away or push you away from tuning into this.
Ilana:
[4:18] Yes.
Peter:
[4:19] Can you give me some specific examples of how that might be?
Ilana:
[4:23] Definitely. I think people will resonate with this. So I grew up in a family. I absolutely love my family, love my parents.
Peter:
[4:30] I just want to say that. There's lots of love. We've got love all around yet.
Ilana:
[4:33] They do. And obviously, everyone's coming with their own programming, their own levels of trauma around some of this stuff. And in both cases, my parents were super intellectual, super academic, super logical rationalist types. So here they have this daughter who is just from an early age, not only like talking to animals and quite psychic and, you know, in sight, well, I was an empath, I am an empath, and I had a lot of clairvoyant dreams and all kinds of things like that. But they couldn't, you know, it could only be explained by rational science type thing, Right. So if and I was drawn to, you know, astrology really early on and they were just like, oh, my gosh, like that is just total BS. That is just it's an embarrassment. Like, you know, don't talk about that in this house. Don't. So this is what I mean by the invalidation. Like, you know, that's sort of like, oh, only gullible, silly, stupid, uneducated people would believe something like that. You know and so there was a lot of that and it wasn't just about astrology the same could be said for any psychic abilities could be said for you know if i thought i was hearing my animals oh well you're making that up it's in your head so all those things you know so there's a lot of that when i say invalidation i really do mean it i'm not saying it was intentional but it was there and.
Peter:
[5:58] So what you know obviously you're going through this like you said you're talking to animals, you're getting these intuitive insights, you're getting these links and this information and you're getting that invalidation and hearing these things. What age was this happening?
Ilana:
[6:13] Pretty young. I mean, when I was quite little, I would have, okay, so a lot of the stuff I experienced then, only as an adult later after coming out of the spiritual closet, did I start to understand what had really happened, right? Does that make sense? hindsight is 2020 yes or in my case maybe 2010 right like i mean it really i really saw it it all kind of made sense later and things like like timeline jumps things like seeing you know going to a place and and seeing other things that had happened there so i guess i was you know seeing things i was seeing.
Ilana:
[6:58] Just, I don't know, I can't even explain, like knowing things about people, just all of this stuff that was coming in. And I did have a really strange thing happen that, again, now I understand it better. At the time, this is what I mean by the invalidation. Also, when I was, must have been, for as far back as I can remember, but maybe like around three or four or five, like going in up to maybe around the age of eight. I, at night, when the lights would be turned out and you'd get in your bed, I would see little orbs of light, colorful orbs of light. Yep. Float into the room and, you know, different colors like blue and orange and yellow, whatever, float up around. They'd all be around me and it was very comforting. And I was like, oh, that's so cool. You know, when I was younger, I shared a bedroom with my brother who's quite close in age. He's just a tiny bit younger. And I would remember one night being like, oh, wow, you know, do you see those little cool orbs? They're like big fireflies and they're in our room every night and they're always coming around. And he's like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, what the heck? So like, it's stuff like that, that really, you know, what's what I mean about invalidation? Because then you're going, wow, am I crazy?
Peter:
[8:13] Yeah, you start questioning yourself. The self-doubt really hits in.
Peter:
[8:16] And especially when you're younger.
Ilana:
[8:17] My parents also were like, what are you talking about? You know? So I'm like, oh God. Yeah. definitely so the doubt came in a doubt is of course not what you want with this.
Peter:
[8:27] Yeah no that it's it's something that i believe i always say to all of my clients and anybody who comes across my path or you know it's a stage the one message i always give to them is the one lesson you will never stop learning on this path is trust, You're always going to be pushed to your limits. And even once you come out of the spiritual closet, you're going to be pushed on your trust factor, you know? Oh, yeah. So, I totally hear you on that one. And it does. And that kind of takes you in. And so, by experiencing all of this and this invalidation, did you find that obviously you started to kind of shut it down, kind of push it aside?
Ilana:
[9:10] Later, I did. I guess it was always kind of, it was there, but I guess I didn't. I had a lot of times that it was getting validated, but it was always coming with a big, healthy dose of invalidation, even at school, you know. So there were many aspects to that. But I guess a lot of people that knew me would say, oh, she's quite psychic. But, you know, in my family, that meant nothing. I mean, it meant nothing. It was, if anything, it was almost a source of embarrassment. So it wasn't like something I would lean into or whatever. And I was constantly getting pressure. Or, oh, you know, you should like consider being a lawyer or you should, you know, go study like communications or whatever it is because, no, you got a good imagination, you know, because that's a big one.
Peter:
[9:55] You got a good imagination. Let's put that to good practical use in this lovely three-dimensional world and get a job and career that's going to pay you and look after you and your family of the future.
Ilana:
[10:06] Yes, that is exactly what the message was. And actually, I'm glad you said that.
Peter:
[10:11] I think I've heard that message a few times as well. And I think most of the listeners are probably going, oh my God, yeah, we've heard that one before.
Ilana:
[10:22] Totally. And it's really hard to break out of that because that's the system we're all in. Right and and it wouldn't have even occurred to me really to break out of that you know but there are always these like ink like there are always these crazy things happening especially with a lot of like very what i call like precog dreams you know like you dream something and then a few days later like that happens or that happened or i'd have a vision and something was happened simultaneously to somebody i know and you know i would see it like those kinds of things like you just can't ignore that yeah so i did have a lot of that really that kind of was going all along in the background but gosh i didn't know that it was anything special i wouldn't have known that well.
Peter:
[11:12] You had no one to offer that guidance or give you that level of insight or to even like you're saying almost give you that validation of like this is quite normal this can help you a lot in your.
Ilana:
[11:25] Life if.
Peter:
[11:26] You just learn to accept it as being you, as being a part of you, and as being it is normal. People out there do experience this and live with this. But of course, you know, we get caught up in good old three-dimensional paradigm.
Ilana:
[11:42] Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Peter:
[11:43] How does this fit? This doesn't fit in with, you know, today's society and all the rest of it. So, and this is interesting. So, you know, through all of that, you did end up kind of pursuing more of the, like, let's go get the degrees and let's go, let's do the logical thing. Isn't that right?
Ilana:
[12:00] I did. I was constantly trying to be a good girl. You know, trying people. There is one.
Peter:
[12:10] I think there's a story within a story there.
Ilana:
[12:12] I think you could have a whole separate episode with people about people pleasing, especially like healers that are people pleasers because that's a big one for us oh that's a huge oh my gosh yeah that's a lot to unpack but yeah well i was just thinking one of the main things that that was always kind of a clue that didn't go away and i and i think this was the one thing that like even for all their attachment to the rational mind like even my parents and my brother they just could not get around this part. I had really strong medical intuition skills and it was something that happened like a lot and it was undeniable and it was way too, you know, extreme to really be able to explain it away.
Peter:
[12:56] Yeah. Just for those who are uninitiated, can you quickly give us a quick, you know, definition of medical intuition just for anybody who's tuned in and they're not sure what that is?
Ilana:
[13:05] Sure. So that's like using our intuitive senses to know what's going on in someone else's physical body. It could be, you know, like feeling into someone and well, I'll give an example. Like in the case of I had a grandmother that was having strokes. And from like the beginning, I could tell that she was having strokes. I would go, oh, this is what's going on she's having strokes they keep happening they're little strokes and everybody was like in denial and you know you just kind of know this because you're trusting your intuition your intuition is telling you and you just can feel like for me now it's like feeling into the body right you could feel into someone to go oh they have like a heart murmur oh they have high blood pressure whatever it is it's like you can tell that and same with animals it's very useful i i had that a lot with animals um and that was stuff that like people there are even those that are very attached to the 3d world like they can't explain how one could know that and and and the beauty of that stuff is you can be validated by doctors or vets or whatever right yeah eventually yeah.
Peter:
[14:18] If they believe you enough or.
Ilana:
[14:21] If the pain becomes enough then they go and about it.
Peter:
[14:25] Then they go, oh, someone told me exactly that. Yeah. Yeah.
Ilana:
[14:30] I mean, I was really lucky. This happened much later, much later on. But like, as an example, I got validated by the Mayo Clinic, which is a big deal because the Mayo Clinic is kind of run out. I know, I know that one. I'm kind of like, but it was someone in my family who was having a drug interaction with all kinds of really crazy symptoms and very, very serious. And doctors were trying everything and this person was very, very sick. And I was like, this particular drug, you're having a toxic reaction, but I've been on this drug forever. I don't care. You're having toxic reaction. This is what it is. You need to titrate off. You need to get on, you know, go like talk to your doctor. And it was seemed kind of out of left field. And then this person went to the Mayo Clinic And that is exactly what they said. And when she went off that drug, everything got better. That's what it was. I was like, ha-ha, I got validated by them.
Peter:
[15:24] Medical intuitions, also one of my favourite feels. That just pops up from time to time. And I just love it because seeing the body, feeling the body, and even when, you know, past loved ones come through as well, it's like I feel what they pass from or any health issues they've had. So, these things do have an imprint on our energetic body and it's an amazing feeling to kind of come through. But I love that validation. So, you're saying, so like medical intuition is obviously a big one. That kind of stuck with you. And, of course, it's hard. you're still this thing bubbling up for you in your life and again families around you going are you still doing this like what are you talking about how can we this is not validated this must be you know witchy woo woo nonsense and all the rest of it and then you're communicating with animals and you know working through this and so where did this lead you to let's let's just fast forward here because you went through this you've had that experience you've had you know the upbringing,
Peter:
[16:19] which is just like, okay, you really had to figure yourself out a lot in a lot of the way. So, let's fast forward here now and let's have a look at the big moment. And this is the moment we're here to talk about. That's the spiritual closet.
Peter:
[16:37] So, let's have a look at this. When did you come to the realization that you're like, my goodness, this is such a big part of me. I love this, I want to use this, and I want to be out in the world about this. And then what did you do in order to come out of the so-called spiritual closet? Because it's a big deal. People don't realize it's such a big deal.
Ilana:
[17:02] It is a big deal. And I feel that, wow, there was a lot of different pieces that went into that. But like I said, it never fully left me, But I did, you know, I went off in pursuit, like I got my MBA and I had, you know, a business and marketing kind of career. And then I worked actually in an animal not-for-profit for a long time in communications. I was very happy doing all of that.
Peter:
[17:25] You were using your imagination.
Ilana:
[17:27] Yeah, totally. But I mean, that was, you know, communication, sorry, not animal communication. I was literally in like, I was doing like.
Peter:
[17:33] I was doing like.
Ilana:
[17:34] I was doing campaigns for them and not communicating with animals. But, you know, but like even with all of that, you know, it was around stuff I was passionate about and I was feeling very blessed, actually, I was very happy. But how did I get into this like coming out stage? I really think that a lot of it.
Ilana:
[17:56] Came with like age and wisdom i mean it took me that's fair enough that's a very good answer.
Ilana:
[18:03] A long long time it took me so long and i'm not kidding and there's a lot of people my age i'm of a certain age um there are a lot of people i know that are in exactly this kind of trajectory that i'm in and you know you're a little bit younger than me peter and i feel that like you know you a very different journey with this. But like, for people who felt, you know, that they really couldn't express all of this, a lot of people are still in that closet for one thing. But the way that it kind of happened for me, I think when COVID hit, we had the lockdowns and we had the quiet, you know, we were all like in our homes and we were home all the time and we didn't do anything that quiet is probably what i really really needed i mean honestly to to really connect and i think you know i knew i always had these things i didn't realize just how much of a gift they really were or that you could maybe do something with them to help people like other than my friends and family which is all i was ever doing with it i wasn't doing it professionally you had other jobs and stuff. But I guess during that lockdown, I started to really play with that. I don't know how it just kind of happened. I was just playing with one of my dogs who had anxiety at a vet appointment.
Ilana:
[19:29] And I just put my hands on her and just thought about like channeling healing energy and calming her down while I was in the waiting room. And she seemed a little calmer and this is a dog who always had to be muzzled because she would bite the vet tech and and the vet and whatever in fact she was so crazy about it that if they said her name her name is xena if they said her name and she didn't know them, and like, you know, Zeno comes to your appointment or whatever, she would growl and bark like she was going to kill them because they said her name. And how dare they? So she was like that aggro. But anyway, I did that that time. And then they came together and she was all calm and they didn't need to muzzle. And she was a perfect girl. And she goes to get her blood draw, whatever it was. And they're like, whoa, I don't know what happened. But like, she has a different dog today. She was really, really calm. And I'm like, oh my God. Like, of course, I didn't tell than what I did, but like, I was like, whoa.
Peter:
[20:23] Oh, okay. So you're not quite out of the spiritual closet yet. Well, at that moment.
Ilana:
[20:27] At that moment, but I was kind of like, oh my God, I think, I think I did something. And then I just started playing. Like I have, we do a lot of animal rescue. I have four dogs. I was playing on the dogs all the time. I was playing. I'm really blessed. I have a son who is, he's 16 now, but he's very, very psychic. And he also can do healing, energy healing. Like we discovered that when he was about 11. And so he and I were, like homo all the time and we're playing with this and I'm going, gosh, you know, like I have to support him and help him develop that aspect and never let that get invalidated. That was a big piece of it. And then it kind of made me realize like, wow, wait, what have I been doing with all of this? And, you know, it just set me off on this whole journey of exploration. So that was how it started.
Peter:
[21:14] So it's almost like a full circle of life moment really, isn't it? So by why when your son's starting to show signs, you will be there going, hang on, I remember feeling like this, or I remember doing something similar to this, and that would have naturally brought so many of those, you know, somewhat tougher memories and emotions that you experienced around his age come to the surface. And I suppose in your sense, by helping him, would you say that you're also healing yourself.
Ilana:
[21:46] Oh, I think so. I think I realized it all kind of came like, okay. So I think I intentionally chose to incarnate in a family, like to come in, like on a soul level where I had complete, you know, like amnesia about all of this stuff and, and had to battle my way back to these gifts because, you know, I didn't even know I had them. Like they were there, but nobody like to your you said the word earlier validation they were never validated and they were so how can you really develop and trust another big word you said your skills if you don't if you don't have that you know and so with my son i was like oh my god i'm not gonna let that happen to him like i'm gonna make sure and then i kind of realized well hell he came in to me you know so that he had it's the opposite right he had someone that was always gonna like protect that and develop that and, you know, help him understand. And, you know, he's a teen boy. It's not like he sits there going, oh, yeah, yeah, I really want to, you know, do this work. He's like, he's totally in the closet. He's probably going to be mortified that I'm even saying this actually on the podcast.
Peter:
[22:59] Well, look, if it's any consolation for your teenage son, that's exactly where I was. And I know very much the feeling of what it's like. And especially I you know I love that you know he's got such you know a wonderful family and mother that who's gone through something similar so can talk about these things or encourage these things whereas I had a very similar thing but it wasn't so much like invalidation I had neutrality with my family and we I still had the you know from I had the love what we call you know naturally that the sibling love where that was more about not invalidation but mockery and you know the good old paying out of you know you love your crystals and all that, stuff you know so i went through that period so i can you know if he if he has an issue with it being kind of being put like nudged out of the spiritual closet here on a public podcast you can let him know that he's in safe hands because it's like i know the feeling of going through it and we do keep to ourselves because the last thing you want to do is paint another target on your back surviving teenage years and middle school, high school and all the rest of it. So I feel he's paid. So you can rest assured, just let him know that.
Ilana:
[24:10] Yeah. And it's funny, you did mention the crystals and all. He was always drawn to crystals. And I was thinking, I grew up in New York City. And I mean, my favorite place, still one of my favorite places in the world is the gyms and minerals section of the Natural History Museum in New York City. And I would spend so much time there. And whenever I was there, oh my God, it was like my happy place. Holy smokes. I would be calm. I'd be like, oh my gosh, it feels so good. Of course, at the time, I didn't know why. I just thought it was because it was pretty. And also, they had a lot of lights turned down.
Peter:
[24:44] We don't overthink it. We just enjoy it for what it is.
Ilana:
[24:47] Yes.
Peter:
[24:48] We're not here going, oh, you're hanging out over there. You must be one of those special rock people.
Ilana:
[24:56] Special rock people.
Peter:
[24:58] You know what I mean? Yeah.
Ilana:
[25:00] That's what we are, you know? But those of us like commune with the crystals. But yeah, I mean, and I had and this is actually another thing that I did have a lot of work to do myself, which was to clear a lot of the programming that obviously in my household, there was a lot of programming around, you know, this stuff being, you know, in your head, imaginary fake or else just like, you know, gullible people only or stupid or there's no purpose or it's not real because it's not science or I'm giving you a lot of the invalidations that people say.
Peter:
[25:33] It sounds like there's a few there. Yeah.
Ilana:
[25:35] Yeah.
Peter:
[25:35] I'm thinking they're sounding awfully familiar just quietly. And I'm pretty sure anybody watching and listening is probably going, yes, I've had that one. Oh, yep. I know that one. Yeah.
Ilana:
[25:47] Yeah, but all of these things that we're talking about keep people in that spiritual closet because, gosh, it's scary to open the door. And I think, yeah, that's a huge thing. And actually, even more crazy with my
Ilana:
[26:00] story is I have an incredible husband. I love him so much. And he prides himself. It's changed a lot now. But originally, very much a man of science, you know?
Peter:
[26:12] Right, yes.
Ilana:
[26:13] So when I did finally, and look, he always knew I had the psychic abilities. He always saw that he was actually always very supportive about the animal stuff and medical intuition. He always was like, oh, you know, you're pretty gifted with that. Like, he didn't see that. I mean, he did validate that. But he, I guess everything shifted when I decided to like actually go into this as a career path. And i was really called to this and then all of a sudden it went from being like a parlor trick and kind of cool to like wait oh my god what are who are you like i literally hit the next i remember one time he was like okay what's next scientology is that what's next oh okay that's.
Peter:
[26:55] A that's definitely a shift and that's pushing up against the boundaries there of what what's comfortable what's not comfortable so but.
Ilana:
[27:02] So realistically so you made like.
Peter:
[27:05] Is this really like you're coming out of the spiritual closet was i'm being called to this this is going to be more of a career for me was that really.
Ilana:
[27:12] Like how you're.
Peter:
[27:12] Going i'm announcing myself and i'm.
Ilana:
[27:15] Yeah almost.
Peter:
[27:16] Becoming one with myself again for a long long time.
Ilana:
[27:19] Yeah and then telling your husband going.
Peter:
[27:21] This is my new career.
Ilana:
[27:23] Well i yeah i mean what's the healing energy stuff you know the channeling energy this is like before any training right i was just doing it and playing with that and and seeing results and then i i guess i did start even this is even during the pandemic i started doing reiki training and all just to have like a framework and i i love reiki i'm gonna i'll love it till the cows come home because that one you know to me it's i call it the gateway drug for a lot of us because it It gives that framework. It gives, you know.
Peter:
[27:57] I've got this vision now of people messaging and going, so how do I get in touch with Lana, this gateway drug?
Ilana:
[28:03] What are you talking about?
Peter:
[28:03] I want some. Can I get a prescription for this?
Ilana:
[28:06] Yeah, right. Like do some Reiki training.
Peter:
[28:08] It is, but you make a good point. And I love the way you actually use the word gateway because I tend to find a lot of people, Reiki is a beautiful gateway. It's a beautiful stepping stone, a beautiful introductory introduction into the energetic and spiritual world and modalities. So, I totally understand where you're coming from on that one. Yeah.
Ilana:
[28:29] 100%. And I think, I also think the important thing with Reiki nowadays is it is a little more socially acceptable, right? It's a little more known. There's plenty of studies. It's not like we're just like making this stuff up right there are actual scientific studies showing that reiki helps the outcome you know pre and post surgery and this and that and with cancer and blah blah okay so there there are stuff out there that people can hang their hat on for those that are really stuck in that you know rational if you need the scientific validation you.
Peter:
[28:58] Have some people.
Ilana:
[28:59] You have something you can use you got it so you can say it you know you can say you can say that and so i think my husband like when it was like okay so all right all right my wife is going to start doing Reiki like professionally okay I think I can handle this like you know and he he was able to kind of go with that a little but then he kept it was very much a push-pull thing for a while like you know he yeah seemed a little bit and then he would kind of go like just have a freak out meltdown moment about it all and you know in fairness to him we've been together for I don't gosh knows how long I mean since a long long time since the late 90s and this was not what he signed on for. You know, I mean, when we got married, I had just gotten in my MBA and, you know, that's what he thought he was signing on for. So this is a little different.
Ilana:
[29:48] In fairness to him. And I think like with all of that, he, and this is really, it's been interesting because it's really been part of like his journey too. He went from a lot of struggling to accept all of this to seeing clients coming in with issues and leaving chained. And he, cause they, cause I work out of our house. So he would actually see it. He works from home too. So we can't really avoid it. And he started to be like, wow, wait a minute. You know, it's not just like our dogs or whatever it's like yeah people are really changing things that and initially and i think this happens to a lot of us like we tend to get people who western medicine doesn't have answers it's or it's failed them or it might even have caused the problem with like a drug issue and also you know maybe psychiatry isn't the the only thing like they're because in my mind it's because they're missing the third component, which is spirit, right? So there is mind, body, spirit. And if you look at everything only as the body or only as the mind, you can't see the whole picture. So, you know, what you and I are doing is like, we're looking at it through the spirit lens, right? And I mean, of course, it's like kind of amazing what comes out when you do that.
Peter:
[31:07] Of course it is. The spirit lens is the best lens to view the world.
Ilana:
[31:09] The best lens!
Peter:
[31:10] I might be a little bit biased, but hey.
Ilana:
[31:12] Going to say, we can't be biased with that.
Peter:
[31:15] Of course not.
Ilana:
[31:17] No, no, no, no, no, not us.
Peter:
[31:19] I want to come back here a sec because I love that because you're talking about obviously with your husband and he's like, okay, now he's seeing the clients and he's seeing there's a change with the client. So, it kind of shifts and it's like, well, there's got to be something to this or it's going to be something to what my wife is doing because there's shifts and changes. Out of curiosity, was there a shift or change, or did he notice a shift or change within you after you really started to embrace this and come out of the spiritual closet?
Ilana:
[31:52] Yes. Yes, I definitely think so. I think it's made, yeah, I mean, I've definitely been happier. I've definitely been way more centered and, you know, embodied. And I've I mean, people have always, like my whole life, people have come to me for advice. I was like one of those people where everyone's always like.
Peter:
[32:10] You know. There's your first clue. Everyone who's listening.
Ilana:
[32:12] I know.
Peter:
[32:13] That's your first clue. It's like you become the natural counselor. I swear anybody who's got a natural ability to the energetics and the spirit world, you're going to be a natural counselor. That was my number one giveaway. I look, my common thread throughout, I was always the listener. I was always the, you know, the one I'd be consulting for.
Ilana:
[32:34] And the one that kind of knows, well, like, gosh, you know, what, how does this problem get solved? Who has it? People are always asking for advice. And that, of course, that through line, you're right, that was there all along. And I think that it's so funny because, like, that took me a long, long, long time to see because I didn't even see that as, like, part of the healing. I do see that as part of the healing now, obviously, but I didn't relate those two components.
Peter:
[32:59] We're not, we're not, well, especially when we're younger, we're not looking to join those specific dots together and again without having someone to guide you or help you become aware of that you would never know to like see those common threads and themes what's kind of happening so but i love how you said there that obviously now embracing it and kind of you know working at making more of a career out of it you're happier you're more centered you honestly Oh.
Ilana:
[33:27] Yeah.
Peter:
[33:28] Your energy is absolutely beautiful, but I'm actually struggling to imagine, like, you not being this way, if that makes sense.
Ilana:
[33:37] I've always been a pretty optimistic person.
Peter:
[33:41] That's what I was going to say. I'm thinking, I can't imagine you being not happy.
Ilana:
[33:46] Yeah. Well, actually, no, I definitely had my ups and downs. And you know what? I do want to speak about that, actually, because that is related to the spiritual closet. And it is because, and this is so, for those who are younger, especially going through this, I had a lot of struggles, like, in my younger years, like.
Ilana:
[34:06] Early 20s, mid-20s, even at various points, like late 20s. It was really hard, like teen years too. And I think that what it was, was I was so disconnected from who I really was. I was completely oblivious and disconnected. And I was chasing, you know, false egoic goals. and I was not remotely embodied in myself or comfortable. And it's so silly, of course, because at the time, I may have been like a lot thinner and my hair might've been longer or whatever the heck it was. And nothing was ever good enough and I was really, really hard on myself and all these things. And I mean, just thinking about how unhappy I could get and up and down things were, that now with hindsight i'm like wow you know it was because i was so disconnected from my authentic self i am now living my authentic life like that is 100 and i am unapologetic about it and i at this point i really could care less like if somebody gets like oh gosh i don't ladies create i'm like fine that then i'm not your cup of tea that's cool like love you anyway maybe you'll come back to me if you have some kind of awakening. Maybe you won't, but that's cool.
Peter:
[35:28] That's it.
Ilana:
[35:28] You know?
Peter:
[35:29] That's it.
Ilana:
[35:29] But the whole thing is...
Peter:
[35:30] But wouldn't I... That is a very...
Peter:
[35:32] Big distinction to make of and of course again hindsight's always 20 20 but these are the things to start considering and if you're listening here this is why i was so when we were chatting like oh my god we've really got to get into this because it's such an important thing and you bring up such an important aspect of now now that you have embraced and fully embodied yourself and the abilities and that part of yourself, you can look back and go, now I know why things are going to get hard. That's just life in general. But you start to look back going, if I was a little bit more connected with myself, perhaps it may have been a smidgen easier or perhaps I could have moved through the challenges that little bit quicker because you're aware, you feel the guidance, you know you're supported rather than feeling like I need to solve this or tackle this all on my own and it all feels like it's and that's me and I just like I know when you mean that because it's like you get up so up in your head kind of thing I need to control this I need to get through this I need to deal with this so if you're using any of these particular phrases people you are in disconnect you're in your head and you're not embodying flow they're big big things.
Peter:
[36:51] So, I love that. I'm so happy you did bring that up. And I just love that, you know, you're sharing this so openly and you've got to put your husband and your son and your family on the spotlight. I know. I feel terrible about that.
Ilana:
[37:03] I didn't exactly get their permission.
Peter:
[37:05] It's all in positive.
Ilana:
[37:06] Well, it's like, you know, I am out of the spiritual closet now. So, they have had to accept it. You know, my husband and son, they've done a great job. They really have. They absolutely have. I mean, look, my son's still kind of mortified about what I do for a living now. Like, I don't think he really tells his friends that.
Peter:
[37:22] I don't know what my kids say to their friends because, like, you know. I think they just use the excuse, Dad works away a lot. Yeah.
Ilana:
[37:30] So, my dad talks to dumb people.
Peter:
[37:32] Yeah, I know, right? But what do they say.
Ilana:
[37:33] Right?
Peter:
[37:35] What are you supposed to do? But I just love that. But I just want to say like, you know, it's been amazing to hear the journey. And I feel like, you know, everything that you have shared here, even though some of you feel like, oh, wow, you spoke about that. It does happen, but you're embracing it. And I think it's just you show such wonderful courage even in doing that, because again, it speaks to who you have become. It speaks to you embodying this and yourself, your journey and your path, which is just absolutely amazing. So in order to wrap this up, I'm going to give you a couple of questions here. So I'm going to give you the curve balls just to see what else. But number one is now that you're here, now that you're at a spiritual college, now that this is a career, what's next on the horizon? Where is, you know, Ilana Sparrow going? Where is what's happening with A Light Within Wellness? Where's your vision for this?
Ilana:
[38:28] A Light Within Wellness, yeah. Well, I am hoping for 2025 to really broaden out and start doing more teaching, group programs, reaching a wider audience. I do a lot of one-on-one work and workshops here in L.A. I do, you know, it's more local, I guess I should say. So I would like to start to reach more people for sure. Basically, you know, we want to spread the love. We want to spread the light. So to me, I mean, it's so funny too, by the way, my business, Alight Within Wellness, that's like what I named it. It came into me like intuitively and even when that name, because I had to like pick a name, you know, to register a business when I was like back during COVID and all that. And I was like, huh, I don't know.
Ilana:
[39:14] And anyway, the meaning of Alight Within is so like on so many levels, you know, it's It's so much deeper than I ever realized because when I named it that, like, I still hadn't fully come to terms with that idea of, like, the divine light within, you know? And like, so the way I sort of see myself as in many ways, I see myself both as a spiritual activator for people and a spiritual detective for my clients, meaning, you know, helping people solve problems that they don't, you know, they haven't been able because, you know, mind, body and spirit and they putting those things together for them really helps with understanding and then helping, you know, well, turn on people's light. I think we all have that little tiny... Light, then it's like, you have to like turn that switch up, right?
Peter:
[40:10] Yeah. Turn it on. Flan the flame. Yeah.
Ilana:
[40:12] Flan the flame, get it going. And I think that happens naturally. Like when people work with healers and, you know, they start to ask questions. So that's a big thing.
Ilana:
[40:23] So definitely stepping more and more into my path. And, you know, it took a little while for me to embrace because again, I had a lot of baggage to clear, you know, a lot. And I, and it took me a while to really come to terms with like, holy smokes, like I do work with, with archangels.
Peter:
[40:43] All right.
Ilana:
[40:43] I, I do talk to animals. Sometimes I talk to dead ones. Some, you know, I've studied mediumship that took some, not remotely to your level. I would not be doing it professionally, but I felt like I had to do it because sometimes people would come in during a session and I wanted to be able to relay messages and be comfortable with that. And again, I had some stuff I had to clear to make that possible for me to just sort of fluidly go. And that training, by the way, is phenomenal. Because why? Because all these things work together.
Peter:
[41:14] It's so interconnected. It's so hard to separate them. So I think that's sometimes people do get a bit of overwhelm once you kind of you start down this rabbit hole people it is a rabbit hole it goes every which and every but it's all still connected so but i love that you kind of mentioned there just prior to like you've done a lot of like work on yourself you've done a lot of healing this is a great like segue to the second question i wanted to ask you is let's go back and let's say right now you had the chance to talk to seven-year-old Ilana, what would be like one sentence you would want to tell her right now?
Ilana:
[41:55] Wow, that's a hard one. I would tell her, well, I would tell her that she is loved and she is special. And she just has to remember that, like always, because no matter what people tell her, she needs to remember her own truth. And I, you know, it's funny because I've gone through, I mean, look, I think this is true of a lot of healers. And I'm putting this out there for people who are listening, who are into this path now. A lot of healers have gone through a lot, multiple dark nights of the soul, a lot of trauma.
Peter:
[42:34] Yeah. There's not one people. There's many.
Ilana:
[42:36] No.
Peter:
[42:36] Don't let that fool you.
Ilana:
[42:39] And you know what? It may keep coming. Like, I'm well aware of this. Like, and that's okay. Because like, you get to this place where you're like, all right, well, bring it, you know, because each time you're kind of leveling up. And i you know so there is like of course a smoother path i think when you have the more tools you have the more you kind of sort of smooth it out for yourself a little but you know you just start to be just much more i love the word neutrality but to really be in neutrality it's a really powerful place to be actually you know and also in surrender oh that's.
Peter:
[43:19] A big word That's a big word. I love that.
Ilana:
[43:21] Yeah. And those two things like really can carry you very, very far.
Peter:
[43:26] They absolutely can't 100% agree on that. So, now let's just, to finish this off, which has been an absolutely amazing discussion and chat, but if anyone's listening and they've, through the discussion that we've had, they're probably thinking, you know what, I'm still in that spiritual closet. But if that's them and they're listening, what words of advice to sum it up would you give them right now?
Ilana:
[43:54] Well, I can only speak from, you know, my own experience and the people around me that I've witnessed going through the very similar things, which is that life can get so much more magical and more incredible every moment of every day when you do step out of that spiritual closet.
Ilana:
[44:14] And if you are able to, you could take baby steps out of it, you know, you could open and shut the door like a hundred times kind of the way I did until you're ready to really step out. That's okay. But like when you finally do, one of the most beautiful things that did happen for me was so many of my friends, so many of my old friends, A, they were not surprised. Okay. So they probably saw something that I didn't see. And B, they were very supportive. Or there were friends who would never have had certain discussions with me before. And then all of a sudden, like, here they are also talking about all the, you know, really esoteric spiritual stuff. And I was like, whoa, like, I had no idea. And like, you know, you connect on a whole new level. And same with like family members who might also. And I think that life for me ever since I fully embraced it has been just a journey of, you know, magic. Like you really want to wake up in the morning and see what's going to happen and you know all of that it's just you you're on a mission i think to really continue to spread the light and i think that will happen when you do step out and and staying in the closet you will notice it keeps your light a little dim and you're a little more disconnected from who you really are and it is part of your path it really just means it's stepping onto your path, right?
Peter:
[45:42] I love that. That is such a great way to surmise it because if you're listening, you heard that, that is so true. If you're listening to this episode and you have absolutely just gone, oh my God, this sounds like me or this is so similar to what I'm doing, then you are being challenged, yes, but you are also being called. Yes. And there's a deeper part of yourself. And I believe that if you do, it's almost like you're sitting on the sidelines, but you're watching everybody else play the game and you're on the bench. You're like, you know, you want to play the game, but you're just there, whatever the hesitation, whatever the fee may be, but you've just got to get yourself onto the field. And then once you're on there, you'll be like, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And the great thing is, I love it how you said to you don't even, I think a big fear is a lot of you start to go, I might lose friends and family because of what I believe. But what's amazing is once you get on the field, you have a whole bunch of teammates who are playing the same game and have the same beliefs as you do. And all of a sudden you go, I'm not alone. And that's such a powerful thing, isn't it?
Ilana:
[46:50] And you make so many new friends too. Yes. So many new friends. I mean, it's like I couldn't believe like at my age, I mean, I'm like, whoa, how did this happen? But I have this huge community and the community is really like that's a whole other podcast discussion. But, you know, being surrounded by like-minded people who are constantly validating you and supporting you and you are doing that for them. And it's amazing. And the power of, you know, the groups working together, it's incredible. And, you know, if you don't step out of the closet, you won't experience that. And trust me, it's like next level. It's amazing stuff.
Peter:
[47:26] So the final words would be, just do it. Yeah, just do it. We'll take an idea. Just do it. Get out there. Get out of the closet and embrace the magic of life.
Ilana:
[47:36] Well, I think this, if somebody's really struggling, like in a way that I did with my family, I mean, my very close family, not my son, he was always okay with it, but even my parents, and I'm not saying my parents, by the way, they're not 100% on this. They're just, let's say they've gotten a bit to neutrality now, all right? That's okay.
Peter:
[47:56] They're accepting you for who you are.
Ilana:
[47:58] Yeah, but that's still something, right? And I'm still able to go on this journey, And they do appreciate that, like, I'm helping people. And, you know, there's all of that. So there's many, many positives. I really don't see the negatives. Like, yeah, I guess there's a lot of people who, you know, depending on where you live, maybe you'd have to maybe be a little more careful. I live in Los Angeles. So obviously, I don't. It's more just like, you know, people have say things sometimes like rakey flakey or you're in a la woo woo or whatever they say and now it's like oh whatever you know that's fine that'll come with the territory just don't it doesn't matter.
Peter:
[48:38] No i love it well yeah i cannot thank you enough for your insights your story and sharing that here with us today thank you so much and of course if you want to get in touch or you know even be friend elena because like get part of that community she's just talking about you can find her obviously alightwithinwellness.com and on the socials as well the socials the same as the web yeah.
Ilana:
[49:04] Pretty much a light within or like.
Peter:
[49:05] Within la like so yeah.
Ilana:
[49:07] That yeah i would love it people if people have questions i've supported a bunch of people going through what what women call the spiritual awakening and that's something i love to do i i think people can feel very alone with that.
Peter:
[49:21] And that is.
Ilana:
[49:21] Part of the whole journey too so.
Peter:
[49:24] And that's what brought us together that particular topic and that led us to talk on this one and I just love the way it's happened and again I cannot thank you so much for sharing and giving us your time today no thank you so thank you so so much and of course guys go reach out and have a chat because she'll be there and I know that she'll help you and it's like so if you're feeling stuck feel free to reach out that's a huge thing doesn't matter where you are in your journey whether it's to Alana or even to myself always say the biggest thing is don't be afraid to reach out and not alone on this journey with there's always somebody We're all at some point, but we're all here to help each other. So, you know, be brave and embody it. It's going to be a magical journey. Again, thank you, Lana, and thank you guys for listening.
Ilana:
[50:04] Thank you.
